Skydiving

For my recent 50th birthday, Kim got me 3 pressies; a new mousepad with pictures of all the planets on it, a skydiving voucher, and life insurance.

Lots of life insurance.

Wollongong, then.
Me, rehydrating on diet-coke after last-night's birthday drinkies.
Oi. Tits first, I'm not a slag.
You get a harness with this dire warning. Fortunately, on the back so you can't read it.
These guys cover everything - including your immortal soul.
I meet my instructor, Rob, - and soon-to-be VERY close friend - for the first time. Nobody warns me he's a ginger.
A lot of these shots come from the accompanying DVD, shot with a fish-eye lens, which is why everything looks a little weird.
Didn't Southpark do something similar?
I retain my English fortitude through the day.
And I expected something a bit more, well, air-worthy.
It'll be quicker going down that it is going up.
As we pass 4,500 feet (whatever a foot is), Rob tells me that this is where the parachute opens. Parachute, eh. I never really thought beyond the freefall thing.
Getting all snuggled up now.
Get OFF my plane.
Ha. Silly plane went all upside down as soon as we left. Oh.
It was about now that I realised I had just fallen out of a plane. That wasn't at the airport.
That's me saying a very rude word.
I poke my tongue at the hardness of the ground.
I just really like this pic.
Really, if the whole situation is not bad enough I don't need all this 'bad touching', too.
Ha. Not laughing now, are ya.
Clouds are a bit damp when you're in them.
This was a bit of a surprise. I get to drive the parachute for a while.
Driving, as it turns out, isn't that difficult. Pull one rope, you go left. Pull the other, you go right. Pull them both and you fall out of the sky.
You land on you bum so it's a good thing that the ground is flat.
And that's it.
Thanks Rob. And next time, buy me a drink first.

I went back to the club-house to get the gear off and emerged, as it happens, with my flies completely undone - exposing my manhood to all and sundry. Fortunately, said manhood had shrunk to the size of an acorn and this is probably why...

6 minutes previously:

Todger to Brain: "What's all that noise?"
Brain: "Can't talk now. Plummeting to Earth."
Todger: "Cripes!" (pulls in head)