Hammersmith

It is a law of nature that the trendier an area is, the less likely it is to get a decent haircut - and certainly at a decent price.

A decent haircut is; The place has old steel and leather chairs and the walls are covered in pictures of faded page 3 / topless models. There is a peg to hang your coat on. The barber is a dodgy Italian with a dodgier moustache and wears a red coat. He asks you how much you want off the back and sides and then discusses last night's footy. You pony up ten quid sans tip and leave

A decent haircut is NOT; Poncy designer decor with poncy plastic weird-shaped chairs and the walls are covered in poncy bleedin 'art'. A 'receptionist' takes your coat and offers you a mocha-latte-poncy-drinky-thingy you wouldn't give your dog. The puddle-jumping 'stylist' has hightlights, extensions, visible piercings that make you sick and invisible ones that would have been better applied by the Spanish Inquisition, if you ask me, who discusses the latest Big Brother eviction. You pony up over 40 quid and he bursts into tears when you tell him where he can shove the tip.

So, hair being out of hand, I shuffled off to Hammersmith.

Hammersmith is not the most salubrious of London's boroughs. It's extremely pedestrian hostile, it has a few shops and two tube stations. It does, however, have, in my opinion, on of the best buildings in London - because it looks like a ship!

The building that looks like a ship.
It's difficult to find a position to take a decent photo of this - which kind of defeats the object up to a point - but it does look good.
And then there's this:
Was once the Hammersmith Odeon.
Starting life as a cinema, this featured large in my youth as one of the best music venues in town. I saw the Clash, Sham 69 and Blondie here in the 70's. I also, to my shame, saw Camel - think progressive rock, with a flute - shudder, on their 'Rain Dances' tour!

Now it's the Hammersmith Apollo and you will notice, if you squint, that the Little Britain stage show is on. Kim is on the ticket trail as we speak.

Hammersmith can consider itself done.

Well, almost. There are a couple of very nice riverside pubs near Hammersmith Bridge, something we discovered on the way to Kew. For the Saturday evening, we dropped in for an excellent curry next to Ladbrooke Grove station and jumped on a tube to check out said establishments. I would like to report that this was one trip that wasn't prompted by a chick-flick but, sadly, The Blue Anchor (and there's nothing wrong with this place in itself) was featured in 'Sliding Doors' - a movie that, quite frankly, I can't be arsed to watch.

We left Hammersmith just before midnight and headed back to Notting Hill in the vain hope that we might find just one place that remained open during the witching hour. The bouncers of Ladbrooke Grove have just got it all wrong. Attempting entry to a right dodgy bar next to the station prompted the response, 'You are welcome to come in but the bar's closed. However, there is a place open...' followed by directions. Where was the kidney-punch? The 'You little #@@#@!!!' followed by the damn good kicking? Jeez, they're going soft.

Not sure exactly where this place was, we dropped into the flat and fired up good ol' google - and it was right around the corner. Entry was hailed with a cheery wave and 'Welcome' and, when the place finally closed we we're thanked for our business!

I am writing to my MP forthwith - and probably the Times, too - to suggest that all bouncers in the area are promptly dispatched to New Zealand for some proper thuggery lessons the bloody wimps.