Sarfend

Nice has the Riviera. Malaga, the Costa del Sol. In Rio, the locals promendade on Copacabana beach and Sydney has Manly. Stuff all that, let's go to Southend

Southend is London's closest beach resort. It's got tat, cheap fish and chips, and is the playground for less-than-successful London crims - i.e. most of them. The hoons like it because they can drive their hot-hatches along the seafront. At 20km.

Some nice Georgian architecture.
A groyne - which sounds a bit rude.
There's the fun-fair.
Where people wear coats.
And look at little devils in the scary house.
Or go into scary pretend ships.
Others paddle in the pristine azure waters.
Magna Carta is the basis of English law. This is the punishment for hesitating too long when answering the question; 'Does my arse look fat in this?' The punishment for a less-than-enthusiastic; 'Of course not, dear', is not fit for this family-oriented blog.

But, you wanna see something REALLY scary!
The end of the pier. This is the longest pier in the world. Not one of those fiddled-with stats that sound impressive (e.g. the AMP is the tallest tower in the world with a pointy bit on the top, some wires on the outside and an Australia Geographic shop in the basement). Nope, this IS the longest pier in the world. It's 1 1/3 miles long in old money and there's a train to take you to the end because English people are REALLY lazy and they like to fish.

When you get to the end, you can look at boats.
Or go to the lifeboat station to look at boats that rescue boats.
Southend Pier is always either having itself cut in half by drunken sailors driving boats or having itself set on fire. Last year's self-punishment was fire.
There's the train. Does the train stop at the end of the pier? Well, if it doesn't, we're all going to get wet.
The Kursall - the oldest theme park in Europe - built about 1905. It's a lovely building full of crap.
See what I mean about a lovely building.
There's the pier going out. It has to because the tide goes out a mile here and it's a looong walk to the water.
A nice park.
At night, the whole place lights up.
And looks very pretty.