Booking Oxford

We're going to Oxford overnight in a couple of weeks - piccies later, of course. Kim booked the hotel...

Kim: [picks up phone]

Phone: [beepity beep]

Hotellier: H...

Kim: Hello, is the The Royal Oak Hotel, Oxford? The hotel? In Oxford? Called The Royal Oak? Hotel? Anyway, I want to book a room on the 24th of June. Not July because we want to stay this month. On the 24th. We want a twin with a shower and smoking because my husband smokes. Steve. My Husband. He smokes. We aren't coming to look at Oxford, really. Well, we are but part of the trip is to go to a barbeque. We call those barbies in Australia but really it is a barbeque. When you cook meat. Outside. On a barbeque. The barbie, barbeque to you, is in Woodstock which is in a small town near Oxford. That is why I called the Royal Oak Hotel in Oxford. Which is you. Who I am talking to. Because we want to stay in one of your rooms. A smoking one. With a shower. And the barbie, barbeque to you, is at this guy's house in Woodstock. Which is near Oxford. And the guy having the barbie is a Kiwi. Not an Aussie. There's a diference you know. Kiwis come from New Zealand, that's why they're called Kiwis, and Aussies come from Australia but I'm not sure why they are called Aussies. But they are. We will drop our bags at your hotel and get a bus to Woodstock, where the barbie is, and then come back to sleep, in the bed in the room in your hotel in Oxford, at midnight and then, in the morning, we will go out and have a look at Oxford. [takes breath]

Hotelier - quickly: We're full.

Kim: OK, bye.

Phone: [beepity beep]

Hotellier: H...

Kim: Hello, is the The Oxford Boutique Hotel, Oxford? The hotel? In Oxford? Called The .. etc.