The Nullarbor Serial Killer Drinking Game

If there's a lesson in the movies Wolf Creek and Jindabyne it's this; the Australian bush is crawling with serial killers and they all drive these:

But it's not all doom and gloom. So, you've been shot, stabbed and clubbed to death, and a serial killer is wiping your entrails on his bottom. Don't be down in the mouth, here's the Nullarbor Serial Killer Drinking Game:

Items required:

• Can of beer.
• Serial killer.

Method - choose depending on your serial killer:

1. You see a serial killer's car on the road going the other way - sip.
2. You see a serial killer's car in your rear-view mirror - quaff.
3. The serial killer pulls alongside, points at your car and shouts that something has caught underneath - stop the car and drink the lot.

1. The serial killer shoots you in the leg - sip.
2. The serial killer stabs you in the chest - quaff.
3. The serial killer puts a hammer through your head and has sex with the resulting hole - drink the lot.

1. The serial killer drowns you - sip.
2. The serial killer rapes you and then drowns you - quaff.
3. The serial killer drowns you and then rapes you repeatedly for the next month - drink the lot.

1. The serial killer hangs you on a wall with spikes through your arms - sip.
2. The serial killer shoots you from afar with a high-powered rifle - quaff.
3. The serial killer severs your spine with a big knife, eats your testicles and then sings 'Who's a little teapot' - drink the lot.

Disclaimer:

Of course, not everyone you meet in the outback is a serial killer. Half of them are the victims.